Pardon me while I rant

The social media craze is sweeping the nation. I get that. I facebook, I tweet and I obviously blog. I am also a former myspacer, but I'm considering turning our separation into a formal divorce because admittedly, I like facebook better and I see no point in maintaining two accounts with the same friends, photos, information and witty comments.

Here's the thing. I like facebook, etc. for its networking possibilities and also because of my natural voyeuristic nature. I love to see photos of new places, drunken escapades and even your pets and kids. Its nice to know that you're doing well, your family is happy and that your kid is walking. Most of the above information, I can gather from your photos, etc. which all have a natural place on your profile. What is beginning to aggravate me are the endless status updates that update me on the obvious "So and so is loving her perfect family" or "Such and such is COMPLETELY in love with her husband who is the best husband in the whole entire world." Well I've got news for you. My family is perfect and my husband is the best, so how can yours be? Do you want to start a status war? I'm game. I'll win.

This got me thinking. I wonder what exactly could be wrong with your present situation to make you broadcast its glory via facebook. To me, telling my husband that I love him by writing on his wall isn't nearly as meaningful as telling him in person, or better yet - doing a load of his laundry. Maybe the fact that I don't have children is the root of my indifference about your playdate. Maybe not. I don't feel the need to update you daily that my husband is "the best man in the whole world" or that "I'm so happy that rainbows are shooting out of my ass". Why? Because I know that you don't care - and of course he's the best husband, or I wouldn't have married him. BUT - why do I continually see people proclaiming their happiness on facebook? What are they hiding? Maybe its sarcasm that is obviously lost on me? Personally I think it cheapens a relationship when you broadcast something that should be intimate and special.

I would much rather read stories about how your child projectile vomitted or how your husband is cell phone stalking you or that your dog decided to eat a ball point pen (yep, mine did that yesterday). Give me song lyrics or witty banter or an observation about that weirdo you saw on your way to work. Introduce a point to ponder or use it to complain about a chore. Make me read it and want to comment rather than want to hide your status updates, permanently. Make the status updates a bit of sunshine for those of us trapped in cube village. Make it entertaining, people. That is what a facebook status is all about. Save the ooey gooey details for real life conversation.