Month Six

Dear B.,

How are you already six months old! The last month has flown by, which isn't surprising. I've been slacking on the blog, so this will be more of a list for you. Its getting harder and harder to keep track of all of your firsts. Good thing I'm kind of a maniac with the camera, so I can at least flip back through my phone to see what we were up to. I'm looking at it now and can't help but smile at how much you've already changed. Some of the fun you had:

• Bath time! You love to kick the water and the cups in the tub. You've been moved to the big boy bathtub because of the nightly tidal waves. 
  
  
  
• Your first Easter! Of course, you pooped your pants and spit up, RIGHT before we met the bunny. The photo came out great though. Your grammy, grampy and aunt were all there to watch. You wore a special outfit that your Aunt Kristin bought for you. 
  
• Pinkeye! Thanks to your friends at daycare, you came home with this. You took your eyedrops like a champ and never missed a beat. I think you enjoyed having your daddy and me home for an extra day since you were banned from Lana's.
• Up on all fours! You are up on your hands and knees, rocking back and forth. You have some scooting that you've mastered, but you haven't crawled yet. I'm wondering if you'll skip right to walking? When I took this photo, you had just plopped down on your tummy.
  
• Lots of smiles. You are getting more and more engaging, laughing and interacting with your daddy and I. It melts my heart every time and there isn't anything I won't do to make you laugh.
• First trip to the zoo. I'll never forget you seeing the fish for the first time. Even now, it brings tears to my eyes.
  
  
  
• First pair of shorts. I know that this isn't a major thing, but you looked so darn cute.

I know that I say this every month, but I am having so much fun being your mom. I'm still suffering from a horrible case of mommy guilt, but the more I think about it, I think that its a good thing. That means that when I pick you up from Lana's house, I'm all yours. There aren't any chores happening, just playtime, walks and fun. Daddy and I take care of the house stuff (sometimes) after you go to bed. You are such a good sleeper, but a stickler for a schedule. Bedtime begins around 7pm every night with your bath and then you sleep until around 6:45-7am the next day. You choose to get your sleep at night so you don't miss anything during the day. Honestly, I'm happy that you do this because it just means more time for fun.

Love,

Momma

Clarity

I know that I've been slacking on the blog front. I keep meaning to write a post and then I get distracted by a baby, a husband, a mutt, a TV show or a shiny object. Right now though, the baby is sleeping, the husband is at work, the mutt is napping and Drug Wars is on TV (its a repeat), so I can focus.

I also realize that I am two posts behind. Baby B is now 7 months old. YES. SEVEN. That means that he's been out for almost as long as he was in. For some reason, that thought blows my mind. I'll fill you in on his latest tricks in another post. Right now, this one's about me.

I'm one of those "everything is fine" people and it usually is. Lately though, I've been faking. A lot. Nick knows that I haven't been honest, but not many other people do. I've been struggling with mommy guilt and it has been consuming my thoughts. I've always been the type of person who had to have her cake and eat it too. I want to be everywhere and do everything, even if multiple things are happening at the same time. Becoming a mom has forced me to make a decision. I can't have everything (despite the popular Lean In philosophy), but I want everything.

The moment of clarity came to me the other night while walking with the family. I was trying to be the world's best wife, mom and employee and the pressure that I was putting on myself was completely taking over my brain and starting to creep into my marriage. Every night, Nick would listen to me talk in circles. Should I quit? Could I quit? If I quit, would I like it? Every night he would tell me that we could figure it out if I did, but that he wasn't convinced (and deep down, I'm not either) that becoming a stay at home mom would be the best fit for me.

At work, I'm finally hitting my stride. Social media is becoming more and more of a go-to marketing channel and I'm the one that is helping to shape and create the strategy that will drive it. I've worked very hard to get where I am and to do what I do. I take pride in the fact that my job has an impact on the lives of so many people, which is why I choose to work where I do.

Shortly after this conversation with Nick, I decided that I couldn't wait for timing to get better and I had to talk to my boss about a work from home day. I had been putting it off because of the insane workload that we are all dealing with right now, but it was becoming more and more apparent that the conversation couldn't wait.

Last week, our sitter called off at the last minute because her dad had a health issue. That meant that I got to stay home with B for the morning and then take him in to work with me in the afternoon. Although I was sad for our sitter (thank goodness her dad is okay), I was elated that I was "forced" to have that day. I also realized that I truly needed that day. It was more than a want, my soul needed to spend the extra time with B.

I asked the question, even though the timing wasn't right, and my boss agreed to let me work from home on Fridays. The only condition is that if I need to be in the office, I'm there, and I agree and understand. I'm on my second Friday with B and I can't describe the peace that I feel. Being away from him is difficult, but the light at the end of my weekly tunnel is closer now, and that makes everything easier.

I'm also finding that having a day with him is letting me be a better mom, wife and employee. I'm not trying to be everything at the same time and that is a huge relief and weight off of my shoulders. Having my day with him means that I don't feel the need to spend every waking minute with him on weekends. I can take time for myself and time for Nick and I, which will make me an even better mother and wife.

Product Review: Colgate® Optic White®

I was selected to take part in Influenster's Sugar 'n Spice VoxBox. One of the products that I received to test was the Colgate Optic White System. This system included a toothbrush, toothpaste and mouthwash. I was pretty excited to get a new toothbrush. It has "whitening cups" and "polishing bristles," which are supposed to help hold the toothpaste and keep it in your mouth and on your teeth. The back of the brush also had a texture added that you could use to scrape your tongue, which also helps to freshen breath.

I was a little hesitant to try to the toothpaste because I have always been a loyal Crest user, but in the spirit of trying new things, I decided to give it a whirl. The toothpaste foamed up in my mouth more than what I was expecting. It has a great taste, so I didn't really mind. The extra foam felt a little soapy at first, but after I got used to it, it felt like it was able to get in between my teeth and into all of the little nooks and crannies.

I'm not a huge fan of mouthwash, so I let Nick test that out. I just asked him what he thought and he said that he liked it, even though it was a little "stingy." I assume this means that its less painful than Listerine, because he continued to use it.

It was hard to tell if I got the whitening results that the product promised. I should have taken a before and after photo. I did feel like the products did a great job cleaning my teeth and freshening my breath. As a loyal Crest user, I feel like Colgate's Optic White toothpaste will be finding a place in my shopping cart very soon, as long as I have a coupon, of course.