Two

I think a lot when I'm driving two and from work. A lot of times, this is the only time that I give myself permission to do so. When I'm at home, I'm thinking about the dishwasher, dinner, the next morning's smoothie, B's laundry situation, my laundry situation, the fact that I haven't read a real book in months, what shows I need yes NEED to watch, why I'm a crappy homemaker...etc. But in the car, listening to the radio...by myself, I can think. Yes, I'm guilty of thinking about all of those other things that are going on in my life, but other times I think about my life in general and I find that that time is a great chance to reflect and process my thoughts and feelings.

Most of the time, these thoughts and feelings stay in my head, contained to my car and never come out. They stay in my head until the next morning or afternoon. On the rare occasion that they come out - they tend to come out in the form of a blog, which gives my hubby a rare look into my more rational/emotional brain. The part of my brain that doesn't really care when the dishwasher was last emptied or if the Google calendar is updated...this is the part of my brain that actually matters.

So, back to the title of this post. Is really is a thought that has been rattling around for some time...since last October to be exact.

On my first child's 2nd Birthday, I found out that I was going to be a mother of two. This revelation was not unplanned, it was actually in the works for quite some time, but the fact that the little peanut made him/herself known on that day was extra special. Two on the 2nd. How cool is that? Just to be sure, I took two pregnancy tests (both turned out positive) and then began the realization that I would have kidS. Notice the S at the end? Yes, I still think it needs capitalized. I'm still in disbelief that I get to do this again, but oh so-happy and looking forward to adding another one to our party...emphasis on party of three.

One of those moments

I originally started this blog to document life as a DINK with a mutt, and then quickly it evolved into a place for me to capture those memories that I didn't want to forget as we went from DINKS to DIOKS (Double Income, One Kid). Sometimes, I find myself reading back through some posts, remembering what I was thinking and feeling at the time...sometimes laughing at the triviality of it all.

One of my favorite posts was one I wrote about B, as a letter, more than a year ago. It was one of those moments that inexplicably brought tears to my eyes as my heart completely overflowed. This weekend, I had another one of those moments, and it was one that I never want to forget. So, here it goes, in another letter to B.

Dear B,

Saturday morning, we decided to head to the Worthington Farmer's Market. We had gone as a family before, but this was our first outing without a stroller and with you as a very active 2 1/2 year old explorer, adventure and selective listener. The day started out just as we expected, with some talks about listening, staying with mommy and daddy and a search for some fruits and veggies (you kept saying TOMATOES TOMATOES TOMATOES over and over again). We made our way down one side of the street and back up the other, when suddenly you heard some music. We rounded the corner and saw a man and a woman playing music on the patio at Dewey's pizza. You have suddenly entered into a phase where you can't get enough music and dancing, so this live duet literally stopped you in your tracks. Daddy and I sat down at a picnic table, but you stood there and asked us over and over to dance with you. I'll admit, my first reaction was to say no and to tell you to just go ahead and dance, but something made me say yes. I put my bags down and grabbed your little hands and we "danced" to the music that they were playing. Your version of dancing is just a modified version of ring around the rosie, but you were so so happy. Once we were dancing, you demanded that your daddy join the fun, so there we were, the three of us, holding hands and swaying to the music. I can't remember what song they were playing, but I can remember your little face looking up at us, so so happy and then so mad when they paused between songs. All you wanted to do was dance and it literally filled me up to the brim until tears spilled over. I never want to forget that moment or how I felt it was just the three of us, living in the moment and enjoying our time together.

When the musicians stopped to take a break, your daddy gave you $1 and you proceeded to take that AND one of your lucky coins (a nickel that I had given you) and gave it to the musicians. After that, we went back to our morning at the market, buying a few things and grabbing some treats before heading home.

I don't have photos or videos of our dance, it was a moment that was so spontaneous and beautiful that trying to document it wouldn't have been right. The best thing was to live in the moment with you and your daddy, twirling and spinning to the music, living in the now.

Thank you for being the kind of kid that makes me stop and live in the moment. The kind of personality that is impossible to ignore and the kind of person that makes me want to be a better mommy.

Love,
Momma