Lag time

I had an epiphany. Nick has been on a delay when it comes to our new reality. Maybe ephiphany is too strong a word, but there is a definite lag. I was thinking about the last 12 months or so, thinking about the changes that I and we have gone through and realized that I had a my "brick wall" moment in February of 2012, and Nick didn't have his until October 2012.

My life changed as soon as I peed on that stick. The minute that I saw that second line, I began to worry about the food that I ate, the activities that I participated in and the sleep that I desperately needed. My drinking days officially ended. I was still a social butterfly, but the changes that happened as soon as the pregnancy was confirmed were drastic.

When I peed on the stick, Nick's life didn't change...that much. He became subject to my neurotic behavior, but was still able to drink beer and stay out late. He didn't have to microwave his lunch meat. He didn't develop a sudden distaste for everything smoked and he didn't have to say goodbye to caffeine and artificial sweeteners. He had a pregnant wife, but everything else was status quo.

Fast forward to summer time. The baby is starting to show, much to my excitement. I'm starting to walk a little slower and thanks to my bladder, I'm sleeping a little less. I'm experiencing the baby and have been for awhile. Staying out late isn't as appealing as it once was and my entire wardrobe is comprised of elastic pants stretchy and flowy shirts. Nick is still enjoying beer on the patio, poker night and happy hours.

This continues on into the fall...you get the idea. I'm not upset with him, just a tad jealous. Maybe jealous isn't the right word, but its the best that I can come up with. My heartburn is annoying and my back is sore sometimes, but all in all, I'm just my normal self with a large belly. As my belly grew, I was getting more and more comfortable with the idea that the baby was coming...and coming soon.

Once the time came, I approached the birthday with relief that the pregnancy was coming to an end and that a new chapter was beginning. I didn't think that Baby B's birthday marked a "brick wall" moment for Nick. I recently realized though that for him, that moment was the equivalent of peeing on the stick. His life changed completely from one day to the next.

This delay wasn't obvious to me at first. It didn't become obvious until B was around 6 months old or so. I think it was on weekend that we didn't have plans. The pre-parent versions of us would have headed to a bar or to dinner or something, making up the plans as we go. I knew that this wasn't an option for us during this particular weekend, but Nick was having a hard time wrapping his head around it. He was grumpy, indecisive and generally annoyed. I was annoyed, but only because we couldn't figure out where we wanted to go or what we wanted to do.

After we talked in circles for a little bit, we came to the realization that he was missing the fact that our previous shenanigans weren't an option anymore, without some very specific planning done before/after. Although he didn't miss the bar scene, he missed having it as an option, and I totally understood. At that moment, I realized that he was 6 months (or so) in to this journey, and I was 15. A full 6 months ahead of him when it came to our new normal. Better late than never.