So, there was a strange woman hitting on my husband...

And what do I do? I crack up and watch the whole thing play out. We were at the Wine Festival down in the North Market this past weekend. It was super hot and humid, so we were all huddled under a tent, sitting in some uncomfortable folding chairs. Nick is standing there, minding his own business, drinking his wine and this woman walks up to him. We knew something wasn't right because she was wearing long sleeves and (flood) sweatpants. My sister was appalled at the whole outfit - but the fact that the sweats were floods - that pushed her over the edge. This lady walks right up to Nick and starts yacking away about who knows what. He's visibly ignoring her, but she continues on and on. I'm sitting there with my mom and sister, cracking up. At one point, I snapped a picture. She continues.  Since we can't figure out what she's talking about, we start making up stories.  My mom said she was waiting for her to break out and do a pole dance - since she was intently gripping the tent pole, the whole time she was talking to him.  My sister came up with an elaborate mental patient story - somehow linked to the flood sweats in 90 degree heat.  We couldn't let it go on much longer, so we staged a wine emergency and demanded that Nick go with me to purchase and taste more wine.  I think she continued talking, before wandering off to find another unsuspecting wino. It was one of the most peculiar situations that he's been a part of in awhile. I asked what she was talking about and he said that it had something to do with an Italian soccer player, but then he just stopped listening.  At least I know he doesn't give strangers special attention that he might not be giving me at home.  She should have opened up her crazy banter with the word "boob" and he would have dialed right into that convo.

Moral of this story:  Nick--next time a strange woman hits on you, PAY ATTENTION, TUNE INTO THE CRAZINESS, so I have something funny to write about on this new blog thing I'm doing.

One of those memories...

Did you ever have one of those memories that you know will stay with you forever?  Something that for some reason just ingrained itself in your mind, the moment it happened.  Something seemingly insignificant, but when you look back on it, so monumental.  Its especially monumental considering all of the other memories that happened before then and since then. Its amazing, how one small thing can take you right back to the day and remember details that should have long been forgotten.

When I was growing up, my parents took us boating on the weekends in the summer.  We went to a manmade reservoir called Youghiogheny Lake.  Its only now that I truly appreciate how great of a place it was - and how much fun we had on those weekends, even after the seemingly forever 1 1/2 hours in the car to get there.

Now that I'm a "grown up" I happen to live by a reservoir - Alum Creek - and am lucky enough to drive over it every day on my way to work.  Yesterday, it so happened that the lake was crystal clear - like glass.  The sun was hitting it and it just looked so incredibly smooth that it didn't seem real.  This image immediately triggered a memory of my dad, water-skiing at the lake.  While we were kids, his days at the lake were filled with "Daaaaaaaaddddddddyyyyyyy...will you come swim with us?" or "Daaaaaaadddddddyyyyy, will you swim to the shore and go exploring with us?".  Whether it was swimming or exploring or judging a never ending diving contest, he always did - often until he was completely waterlogged.

At least once during the weekend, he'd always declare that he was going skiing.  My sister and I would always groan because when he skied, he'd ski from one end of the lake to the other, which to a kid is incredibly boring.  Now, I understand that this was his escape - this was his weekend getaway.  He was probably tired by the end of it, but it was just him out there - without anyone nagging him or fighting or vying for his attention.  He always had a great time and would even put on a show for us - over the wake on one leg, back on the other - skiing with the line between his knees, even taking one of his skis off and switching to one ski, while moving (this was most impressive)! 

Back to the lake - yesterday morning - as it was completely calm and smooth.  I remember one day, during one of his marathon ski sessions - my mom had driven down to one end of the lake that was apparently not crowded that day, or it was later in the day and people started to pack things up.  All of the sudden, the normal choppiness of a lake was gone and the water was as smooth as glass.  My dad saw this and immediately jumped out of the wake and over to the smooth water.  I saw a look of pure happiness on his face.  I think he even said "aaaahhhhh" as he hit that water and felt how smooth it was.  He jumped back into the middle and off to the other side, with this same expression on his face.  The calm water let him do this so fast, that we felt him pulling on the boat as he went from side to side.  I'm not sure why I remember that moment so vividly.  I don't remember anything else about that day - as it was just a typical day in the summer.  I'm sure that after he was done and back in the boat, the bickering resumed and it was back to diving contests and swimming...because we had to sit in the boat for forever, while he skied.  I'm so glad I get it now.

For the benefit of my husband's vocabulary.

Last night, I was folding Nick's laundry while he laid in bed and watched, while grumbling about me NOT going to bed.  Well, the reason I wasn't going to bed was that I was folding his white clothes - namely stained t-shirts, underwear and socks.  He prefers his socks to be in "sock balls" rather than stacked up. Personally, I think sock balls stretch the top of the socks out and are generally annoying, so I don't do this with my own stuff, but he likes it, so I deal.  I'm also officially off of my laundry strike because he cleaned and vacuumed the upstairs and downstairs.

Here's where the vocabulary comes into play:  as I'm folding sock balls and NOT getting ready for bed because I'm folding sock balls (see the vicious circle).  So because he was grumbling and I was folding his laundry - I tossed - lightly, mind you - a sock ball in the region of "man land".  So this increased the grumbling and he told me how "NOT NICE" it was that I did that.  Well its not  like I whipped it, it was literally a toss.  He proceeds to say something about not throwing things at his 'nads.  So I say to him, "its not my fault that his 'nads are just hanging out there and an easy target for sock balls....perhaps his 'nads should be nicely tucked away and protected like mine.".  So he says, "women have nads?!?"  and I say..."yes, they do" {{long pause}} I can tell that he's pondering here...so I say "wait, do you think that 'nads is a slang word for BALLS?!?!"  He said yes - so then I explained to him what "nads" are really... and to clear up any additional confusion, here is the official definition from Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gonad):

The gonad is the organ that makes gametes.  The gonands in males are the testes and the gonads in females are the ovaries.  The product, gametes, are haploid germ cells.  For example, spermatozoon and egg cells are gametes.  Although medically, the gonad term can refer to either male gonads (testicles) or female gonads (ovaries), the vernacular, or slang use of "gonads" (or "nads") usually refers to the testicles.

Anyways, looks like that we're both right.  I learned a new slang term to add to my ever-expanding list...since, technically nads IS a slang word for Balls, and I doubt that I'll ever refer to my ovaries as "nads", but at least he knows now that we both have a "pair".

Pure Happiness

On Sunday, Nick, Chino and I headed out to visit the grandparents in New Lex.  Car rides are one of Chino's favorite things, because cars typically take him out for ice cream, to the park, to the grandparents' house or to daycare.  As always, he was excited as soon as we said "Chino, do you want to go for a ride?"  In typical Chino (DRAMA) fashion and as is typical when a ride is involved, he started crying and plastered himself to my leg, just incase we were kidding and were going to try to leave without him.  We get in the car, he jumps in the backseat, long enough for me to sit down and put my seat belt on - and then he proceeds to relocate himself into "his seat", which also happens to be MY LAP.

For those who don't know Chino, he is our two year old lab mix.  He also weighs about 70lbs, so he's far from a lap dog.  The whole lap thing started because when he was a puppy, he was petrified of the car and had to be comforted and calmed down by me, on my lap.  We never thought much of this and it seemed like he went from cute, cuddly puppy to giant cuddly dog - OVERNIGHT!  Needless to say, when he rides on my lap, he gets quite a few double takes and smiles.  Nick and I tend to think this is normal - so when people look at us like we're crazy when I say that Chino is a lap dog - it takes us a minute to remember that we really are.

We are very lucky because Chino is a great car dog - he can sit for hours and for trips to Pittsburgh, just curls up on his bed and naps the ride away.  His favorite spot is my lap, and although I have the seasonal bruises and scratches from his paws and claws, I wouldn't have it any other way.  

I snapped this picture with my phone yesterday on our way home from the grandparents house. If anyone knows Chino, you know that he isn't easily posed for pictures - this picture is pure happiness, him in the car, obeying the rules (no standing and hanging out the window), taking it all in and enjoying his time with us.

Adding to the list of why I married my husband...

For those who know my husband, Nick - you know he's one of my heros, in part because he made the conscious choice to deal with me forever.  To top that all off - this promise of forever came with two sparkly rings that I get to wear all the time!  BONUS.  I have a running list of why I'm happy to be married, and a little dish he cooked up last night, just made it on there. 

To more reasons why I'm happy to be married to a bug killing, trash taking, recycling, toilet plunging, snow shoveling man:

1.  Weird taco shells

2.  Leftover weird taco shells

Nick introduced this meal to me several months ago.  He was talking about these taco pasta shells that his friend's mom used to make.  I'm thinking - seriously?!  Taco shells - as in those giant pasta shells turned into a Mexican dish.  Ok, I'm up for it because he embraces all of my strange Pittsburgh-type meals (noodles and toast, anyone?).  So he whips it up....all I have to say is O M G.  This stuff is fantastic.  I love all things Mexican and could eat it at every meal - but wow.  This is crave-able.  He made it for  me last night and I had to do everything I could not to eat until I couldn't breathe and until the only thing that would or could contain me would be elastic.  The only thing that kept me under control was the promise of having it for lunch today and dinner tonight.  I just finished my container and wow...that stuff just gets better after spending the night in a fun Ziploc container.  I told him that the next time he travels for work - for more than two days - he has to leave me with a whole pan of that stuff.  It would totally be a consolation prize.  I'd go as far to say that it would work well as ring #1 of the three ring circus that I normally require to be properly entertained.

Some important background info:

After reading a friend's blog - I realized that it might be important - for the sake of prosperity - to add some important background information - here it goes:

How Nick and I met (the real story):

We actually started talking in May of 2001 using AOL instant messenger.  I was home sick for a week with mono and somehow we ended up chatting with each other on the computer.  It was probably one of those "find a friend" things where you looked people up who live in OH.  The entire summer of 2001 while we were both working as interns, we chatted over email about everything, including relationship issues - giving and asking for advice.  We eventually progressed to talking on the phone, sometime in the fall of 2001.  At first it was mostly after a night of partying and then it became more regular and then close to daily.  We finally met face-to-face during the winter of 2002 at a bar on campus--called The Roxy (now called the Nuthouse).  Nick was in Columbus to visit a friend and I was helping with a social function ($1 bottles of Budweiser, so you know why he was really there).  We hung out that night and it was like we had known each other forever.  This was also the night of our first kiss.

We continued talking and chatting after that night and I agreed to visit him at UD for St. Patrick's Day.  Alisa went with me for moral support and we had a great time drinking green beer.  I didn't see him again until the 4th of July 2002 at a party at Andy's house.  We went on our first date shortly after that.  We became "official" on August 4, 2002 after Zach asked Nick, "so are you two boyfriend and girlfriend or what?"  Thanks Zach--this wouldn't have happened without you.

How Nick and I got engaged:

I was really mad at Nick that day because I didn't think he was taking our relationship seriously - it had been 3 1/2 years!!!  I got home from work and called him to apologize for being mean and when he answered, he said that he was at my house.  I let him in and he told me that he had a surprise for me and that I had to go back upstairs so he could get it ready.  I thought my surprise was protein bars to save me a trip back out to Wal-Mart to pick them up.  I came downstairs and found a trail of pink tulips that led out to my garage.  On each flower was a different verse of a beautiful poem that he had written for me.  The last line of the last piece said "Will you marry me?".  I opened the door to the garage and he was there on one knee with my ring.  Of course, I said yes - crying and breaking out into hives.  It turns out that he had asked my dad for permission in November, and that he had kept it a complete secret as to when he was actually going to pop the question.  I was the first person, other than him and the jeweler to see my ring!!!  

If you think I'm crazy...read below:

Every morning, Nick sends me a morning email.  This has been a tradition since before we were even officially together.  Its one of my favorite things - knowing that when I get into work, I'll have something waiting for  me.  Anyway, this morning, my email was a couple of short stories that he heard from two co-workers this morning.  I think he needs to revisit these stories once a month, preferably during that time when I'm acting irrational and nuts - and realize that he's married to a lunatic, but it could be worse.

I love you too.

Married Guy #1:

Wife is a stay at home mom, so long story short-he lives about 1.25 hours away so he gets home and deals with the baby, obviously.  So while doing that, his wife goes out with her friend for a 1.5 hour walk or whatever.  Well - he says he gets the baby a bath and starts putting the baby to bed and it's like 9:45 - well she gets home and starts watching TV.  He asks her if she can watch the baby (assuming he or she is not asleep yet!) so he can do something for 15 minutes.  This turns into a huge argument so he finally gets the baby put down and decides to go to bed.  So, he turns off the TV while she takes a shower.  Once she's out of the shower, she raises hell with him for turning off the TV.  He said "you weren't even watching it!!" - then she bounced the checking account yesterday as well.  I have to side with Mommy on the having some "her" time as she probably needed it after a day with the baby.  However, I'm not sure what idiot women these guys marry as they have no clue about money management if you hear it from them.  The end.

Married Guy #2

He has been working late hours and lives in Chillicothe with an insecure wife.  Ryan is 22 years old, is married and has a little girl...not sure how he does it but he does.  In any case, it was about 7:30 or 8:00 last night and he was just getting on 23 south when he gets a call from his wife.  She bitched at him because she thought he was out drinking and cheating on her and so on and so forth.  To piss him off, she goes out and goes on a $100 shopping spree with the credit card.  She also threatened to leave him and also leave him in financial shambles.  She also routinely overdraws their checking account.  However, she has started working so hopefully their financial woes ease up a little.  The end.