Holy. Crap.

The past year has been such a blur of emotions. As a new mom with a full-time job, this doesn't surprise me. What did surprise me was when I felt myself starting to come into my own as both a mom and a wife…I'm not sure if I would go so far to say that I'm starting to find myself, but I really think that I am. The changes are subtle and a lot of people may not even notice, but to me, they are profound. I'm starting to weigh options and activities against the marathon of pregnancy, childbirth and breast-feeding. I'm making decisions based on how important they are to me and not because they are the things I should be doing because everyone else is doing.

I made one of those decisions a few days ago. I registered for the Cap City 1/2 Marathon on May 3.

Let me type that again - maybe so I can read it again. I registered for the Cap City 1/2 Marathon.

Me.

Me who hasn't really exercised much since B was born because I can't seem to justify the time spent away from him.

Me, who hates running with a passion and who whined and complained through two (yes, two) half-marations in 2010.

Me, who abruptly stopped running after those two marathons (after getting into the best shape of my life, by the way).

Those scenarios and examples were the definitions of the old me…or maybe the previous me.

All I could think of when I hit the "register" button on that 1/2 Marathon was, "I can do this."

Me, who carried that tiny human for 9 months.

Me, who held on through labor until I got to 9cm.

Me, who made a ONE YEAR commitment to breast-feed and did it.

Me, who wants to be a strong, healthy momma and wife for my two boys and fur baby.

Me.

Becoming a mom has shifted how I perceive myself. I don't know when it happened, but realizing it is incredibly humbling and empowering. The old me, would have thought that 12 weeks of training (or in my case, 4 1/2 months) was FOREVER. Now, I realize that  this is just a blip on the calendar that will happen whether I run or not. The pain of training and running has faded away and all I can remember is how powerful it was to log those miles and feel that sweat. Instead of dreading the training ahead of me, I'm looking forward to the journey.