The my kind-of new but not that new anymore reality is that I'm now a full time wife, mom, and employee. That is 300% of one person, which is a lot. The basis of Lean In is that support is essential for any woman to achieve success in her life (personal + professional) and I'm lucky that I have that. I just tend to put a lot of the pressure on myself to be the best, know the most and to have it all together. When I feel one area slipping, I get a little panicky and scramble to get it together, which often leads to more panic.
As I've acclimated to being a working mom, I've been lucky enough to have conversations with friends to find out that I'm not alone in these feelings. We all are feeling the pressure to be the best at everything, which means that something's gotta give, but we won't let it. We're all strong women, with professional goals who don't want to miss a second of their kids' lives. In a nutshell: We want to have our cake, eat it too and collect a full time salary while we're doing it.
Honestly, I'm probably taking this too literally, but the idea of "leaning in" to my career, scares the crap out of me. I'm a classic Type A overachiever. I want to be the best at what I do, whatever that may be. Now that I'm a mom, this means that I have to be the best mom in the history of moms. I have to win at mommy-ing.
What I was hoping to read from the pages of "Lean In" was some fresh perspective on balance. Instead, what I read was about how you should Lean In to your career and rely on your partner for support as you continue your climb up the corporate ladder. Throughout the book, it seemed as if childrearing was more of a transaction than an experience. As long as one parent was home, that would be ok...that counted. Maybe for Sheryl Sandberg that was enough, but for me, the thought of leaning further into my job instead of into my new role as a mother is a scary thought.
Instead of "Leaning In", I'm taking a different approach. My approach is to bend my knees and balance. Some days, I have to lean in and some days I have to lean back, but if I keep my knees soft, I can be flexible to attack whatever may be in store.
Did you read the book? Are you leaning in, leaning back or doing a little bit of both?
What I was hoping to read from the pages of "Lean In" was some fresh perspective on balance. Instead, what I read was about how you should Lean In to your career and rely on your partner for support as you continue your climb up the corporate ladder. Throughout the book, it seemed as if childrearing was more of a transaction than an experience. As long as one parent was home, that would be ok...that counted. Maybe for Sheryl Sandberg that was enough, but for me, the thought of leaning further into my job instead of into my new role as a mother is a scary thought.
Instead of "Leaning In", I'm taking a different approach. My approach is to bend my knees and balance. Some days, I have to lean in and some days I have to lean back, but if I keep my knees soft, I can be flexible to attack whatever may be in store.
Did you read the book? Are you leaning in, leaning back or doing a little bit of both?
5 comments:
I had heard enough about this book that I thought I would have the same reaction you did. I am still planning on reading it but I don't expect to walk away with the mindset that I want to Lean In to my career. Instead I expect I'll probably want to Lean In to motherhood, with a the career being a financial necessity.
Marci - I would love your thoughts on it if/when you read it. I didn't know what my reaction would be, but you summed it up perfectly. Leaning in to motherhood.
it is so hard to find balance!! and i am guessing as more children are born and growing it will be a constant challenge! i feel lucky to have a patient husband :)
Brittany - that is so true! A patient husband is crucial. I'm so lucky to have one of those myself :)
Agree on the Husband front. Don't know how single moms do it! They are warriors.
Also, I believe I did see the author do a ted talk so I knew a little bit about what was in the book.
You are such a good mom Linda!
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