Wee One Wiis

I can't believe that we didn't think of this before! Baby B sometimes prefers to be walked around instead of rocked. Nick was bored with the normal route, so he figured out a more creative solution to keep both of them moving, which turned into a win-win situation. It turns out that using the Wii Fit while holding a 15lb "weight" really helps to work up a sweat.

I threw a pacifier

I'm trying to do my best to keep this blog real as I document my experiences as a new mom. Lately, I've had a lot of rainbows and sunshine, so its only fair to give you a little bit of gray to even it all out. I have to confess. I threw a pacifier. And it felt good.

How did it come to this? Well. Baby B decided that when I went back to work, he would no longer sleep through the night. His decision happened to coincide with me coming down with the crud that's been going around, placing me at an immediate disadvantage for battling a round of sleep wars, 2013.

Sunday night was a bad night. We put Baby B to bed and he fell asleep almost immediately, with his pacifier in his mouth. Then he spit it out. Then he screamed. Then we put it back in. Then we held it there. Then this process repeated for about 45 minutes, interrupting our nightly episode of Downton Abbey.

I'm not sure how this process even started because we know better. He has never been able to keep a pacifier in his mouth. He spits it out, it falls out or he loses interest. We usually only use a pacifier to calm him down before a nap, when we're awake and can hold it there until he falls asleep. For some reason, knowing his track record, we decided that we should try to use the pacifier at bed time. Dumb move. Don't get me wrong, the pacifier would work to get him to fall asleep, but the problem was that when it fell out, we were turning into trained monkeys, running upstairs to stick it back in. I'm not gonna lie - methods to secure the pacifier to his face have crossed my mind, but because tape or elastic around his head and on his face would be considered child abuse, I quickly scrapped that idea.

Anyway, this routine continued on and off through the night - with everyone getting about an hour and a half to two hours of sleep at a time, which doesn't work for anyone - especially a baby who is growing so fast. So. 5:30am came around and Baby B woke up screaming. This time, it was legit screaming for food, but I was so tired and cranky that the thought didn't cross my mind. My dumb ass self tried to comfort a hungry baby and couldn't figure out why he wouldn't settle down (because he was hungry, duh). In the midst of him screaming, me bouncing and swaying and him growing more and more hysterical...I whipped the pacifier across the room. I heard it hit the crib and felt better...and worse at the same time. I think that snapped be back to reality and I used what God gave me to settle that baby down. Yay for boobs.

Moral of the story. As much as my days are filled with rainbows and sunshine, the also come with the occasional thunderstorm (or tornado), and that's ok. I admit that I threw a pacifier and momentarily lost my shit. I was so livid, that once I calmed down, Nick welcomed me back. When I became rational again, I realized that the trained monkey routine was not working for anyone. I asked a friend for advice and we have come up with a better and more productive sleep routine for everyone in the house. How did we do it? Post coming soon.

I have to admit, hearing other moms' stories of babies who refuse to sleep and who inexplicably go ape shit bananas makes me feel better. It seems that the normal is that nothing is normal. Have you ever lost it? What's your version of throwing a pacifier? I'd love to hear about it.

Roly Poly

He was already roly - now he's poly! Right after this photo he flipped himself onto his back! I was so happy that I was home to see it. He seemed so surprised...or maybe it was the impromptu round of applause that I gave him?

Boy's clothing

I've been the mother of a baby boy for just over a few months now and I have a beef with almost every single baby retailer, clothing designer, manufacturer and distributor of baby boy clothes. YOU ARE MISSING THE BOAT! The clothes are tacky, lame and depending on your particular situation - OFFENSIVE. Please stop adding words, phrases, animals, transportation, sporting goods and heavy equipment to the fronts, backs, butts and feet of boy clothing. Enough is enough.

I mean, I knew that little girl clothes are much cuter than little boy clothes, but I didn't realize how unbalanced the world of baby fashion was until a trip to Target in December. It all started out innocent enough. We were Christmas shopping, so I figured that I'd buy Baby B a cute little outfit for one of his many Christmas engagements. We headed to the baby department, looking for something fun. Nothing too crazy, just a cute, casual outfit. What we found was a teeny, tiny boys' department, next to a gigantic girls' department. This is when the ranting started. I saw racks and racks of frilly dresses, not-so-frilly dresses, cute little girl outfits and Christmas-specific ensembles. What I didn't find was the male equivalent because the boys' section was lacking in both size and selection. Instead of leaving with a cute little outfit for Christmas dinner, I settled for a Santa sleeper for Christmas Eve.

After I calmed down (pregnancy hormones were still in full force), I started thinking about how surprising this was from a retailer like Target. Target knows its consumer. Just think of the last time that you left there without spending $50 on a cartful of things that you didn't go there for in the first place. The store and the products are almost always spot-on when it comes to enticing their consumers (WOMEN!), so why are their baby clothes missing the mark? My thought is that they are creating these clothes as if the boys are buying them. Newsflash: They aren't. Their mommas are buying them and their mommas are getting frustrated.

I might be able to look past the imbalance in clothing offerings if what was offered was even remotely closer to what I was looking for, but it isn't. Walk into any boy's department and you'll see that the clothing is not clothing. Its a mini billboard for what a "typical male" should like or be. Instead of making mini versions of male-type clothes, designers feel compelled to plaster add-ons all over the place.

I know that someday, when my son has more of an opinion, that there is no way to escape the inevitable character t-shirts and movie-themed outfits, but right now, I have full control . I just don't understand why outfits have to say things like "Daddy's Hero" or "Daddy's Rookie" or anything about Daddy? If my situation was different, and my baby Daddy wasn't in the picture, I just eliminated approximately 1/2 of the Babies R Us clothing department. This also applies to "Mommy" messages. These aren't as tough or heroic as the Daddy messages, but usually say something about "Mommy's handsome man", "Mommy's All-Star", etc.

Don't get me wrong, I've made exceptions to this rant. B has some dinosaur outfits that we love, a couple of train outfits and more than a few outfits with animals on his feet or butt. Don't think that my heart is made of coal - even I can't resist that, even if it has some sort of label about being "Mommy's boy" attached to the front. I've also made an exception for his shirt that says "My mom is cooler than your mom" and that exception was made on the basis of it being his first "Your Mom" joke.

Overall, I don't understand why baby clothes can't be miniature versions of men's clothes. Everything mini is automatically cute and it is probably more environmentally friendly if they just use the leftover fabric to crank out some plain pants (without sporting goods on the ass), striped shirts (with no words or phrases) or fleece sleepers (that don't advertise who his hero or heroine is). Is that so hard? I understand that the retailers are going for the cute factor - but incase you haven't noticed, a baby is cute and I could put him in a brown paper bag and he'd still get 50 likes on Facebook.

My heart

Chino is posing under protest. As usual.

Date night

This weekend, we had two. Yes TWO ready and willing babysitters. This is two more babysitters than we normally have at any given moment. Instead of going out to dinner (not hungry) or a movie (too tired) or to the bar (are you kidding me??!?!). We had our own "date night" at home. Date nights are date nights and we ended up having a great time, even though it was quite different than our previous normal.

Date night before Baby B:

• Dinner Out
• Drinks
• More Drinks
• Drunk tweeting (Dreeting!)
• Live music
• More Drinks
• McDonald's Drive Thru

Date night after Baby B:

• 1 Bag of Orville Redenbacher Popcorn
• Two tired parents
• One bed
• Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves on DVR
• Two Grandparents downstairs, playing with Baby B

The change in our lifestyle since Baby B is drastic, but I'm doing my best to enjoy every silly, exhausting moment.The whole evening was a complete win-win situation. I got to hang out with Nick, my parents got to hang out with B and we didn't spend a dime. Maybe that's a win-win-win? Either way, it was more "stuff" to make us laugh as we continue to figure out this whole parenting thing.

It takes a village

The first 12 weeks of Bean's life were spent on maternity leave. We were happily involved in our daily schedule of horrible daytime TV, the occasional lunch out, cat naps and playtime. During this time, I was essentially a stay at home mom, 100% focused on feeding, changing and napping. I was also lucky that I had friends who checked in on me and who chatted with me about mommyhood and Baby B's latest antics.

As the time came for me to return to work, these friends, mostly moms, rallied around me for support. I received so many Facebook messages and texts as I prepared myself to head back to work. They had all been there. It had sucked. They survived. Their kids did too. Those little messages were like a chorus of virtual pep talks and cheers for me as I second guessed my decision and planned our latest version of normal.

As Monday morning loomed on the horizon, I approached it with dread and fear. What ended up happening was one of the most humbling experiences of my life. I walked into the office and instead of hearing "is it tough to be back?" or "how did it feel to leave your baby?", I heard "I'm thinking about you today" or "It really sucks, but it gets easier" or "How are you holding up?". Suddenly, I saw the women in my office in a whole new light. I realized that they had been in my shoes, some more recently than others. 

These women all understood how I was feeling and knew that I was doing my best to hold it together. Instead of making jokes, they offered advice and hugs and sympathy, which truly made my day bearable. I even received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my boss.

When you transition from a stay at home mom to a working mom, you enter into a community of women who understand and who have all been there. Their support not only helps me get through the work day, but it helps me get through the evenings as Baby B adjusts to his new normal.

They say that it takes a village to raise a child, apparently in my case, it takes a CUBE village to support a working mom. Now that I know what it takes, my plan is to pay it forward as it was paid to me.