Finally

Honestly, our whole family has been going insane. I'm sick of inside being the only option. Poor Chino is going insane, since the cold weather means no family strolls. The fact that he still goes insane, as an almost 8 year old mutt makes me extremely happy, until he's outside barking like a maniac for no apparent reason. Earlier this week, we got a reprieve from the ridiculously cold temperatures and finally got to enjoy an evening stroll. B is all about the walking these days and I'm so happy that Nick captured this photo of me and my boys.

Editor's note: The real story about what's going on in this picture is that B doesn't like to have his hand held, and he's looking at me, trying to figure out how to escape. Chino is in between poops and inappropriate behavior directed toward neighborhood kids and pets. Even though this picture appears to be peaceful and tranquil, it is a snapshot of the chaos that I can't wait to get home to every night.

My heart

Chino is posing under protest. As usual.

Being a mom

Every day, I learn a little bit more about what it means to be a mom to my two legger and to my four legger. Some days, the lessons are more intense than others. Last night, Baby B put us through the wringer. I'm still not all the way sure what happened, but the more I learn, the more I realize that I probably won't know and that's all part of being his mom. 

Last night, being a mom...

...meant that I was a detective, trying to figure out why my son went from happy and giggling, to sleeping soundly, to screaming hysterically...ALL. NIGHT. LONG.

...meant that my sleep was in a chair and on the couch, since Baby B fell asleep first on me and then in his swing (there was no way I was risking a move to his crib). 

...meant that my heart melted when Chino got up with us to see what all of the fuss was about, even though the crappy weather and new routine were cutting into his walk and playtime.

...meant that the smiles we saw this morning made it all ok.

...meant that I went to work without any sleep and will do it all again if I need to.

A short list

1. Woah belly - that ruffle on my shirt really accentuates the obvious
2. This weather makes Chino act like a puppy - I love it. 
3. Every week, we take two photos of me - one by a wall and one by the stairs. It started because my mom wanted me to stand in a doorway so she could see the belly progression, but we realized that most of our doorways opened into a mess of some sort, so we substituted stairs and added Chino.
4. How is it already been 37 weeks?!?

Dear Baby,

I don't know how I missed putting this photo up, but this is your big brother, Chino.

We'll always refer to Chino as our "first born", which isn't too far from the truth. Even though he's a dog, he's managed to teach us so much about what kind of parents that we hope to be. When we brought him home, we were expecting "rainbows and sunshine", but what we got was a crying, screaming puppy that had no idea what was going on. Once he settled in, that was a whole other story. We had a crazy lunatic puppy on our hands. He was housebroken, but felt that crate living was beneath him and also had predisposition for chewing on and eating random things. We eventually figured it all out though. He was patient with us and we tried our best to be patient with him and what started out as "what did we do?" ended up as "what did we do without him?" This is what I expect our transition into parenthood to a two-legger to be. We're in the planning stage right now, and before you know it, you'll be here. It may take us a little while, but we'll figure it out and before long, it will be like you were here the whole time.

A few things that your "big brother" has taught us:

1. Its always important to take turns
2. It will all be ok. Adaptation is key.
3. Unconditional love is the best kind (he doubles as momma's on-staff psychiatrist)
4. Its ok to fake it 'till you make it
5. Don't ever underestimate learned vocabulary
6. Just when you think your house is childproofed, you'll probably find something (he found a rum cake, a ball of yarn, knitting needles, a digital camera, an ink pad, pens, carpet, the wall and lots of paper)
7. Ice cream cones fix almost anything
8. Bribery is ok...sometimes
9. Always follow signs that tell you to "keep your dog on a leash" (this will apply less to you, obviously)
10. Family time is mandatory
11. A good walk is fuel for the soul
12. Bunnies are evil and must be chased out of the yard, at all costs
13. When its time to play, its time to play. Everything else can, and should wait.
14. Breakfast and dinner must be served promptly at all times
15. A good routine keeps the household running smoothly
16. Family members don't necessarily have to be two-legged
17. Trust is earned

As we get ready to welcome you to our crazy life, its important to us to make Chino feel loved and included. To neglect him after so many years of happiness and love would just be unfair. He's been a part of the whole preparation process, so far. As we were getting your nursery ready, he was there to watch and observe. Actually, because of the curtain debacle, he was also able to overcome his fear of the power drill and tape measure. He came to our first baby shower in Pittsburgh and was on his best behavior. He enjoyed the cake and helped momma open some presents. 

Everyone who knows us, knows how important he is to us and is always asking how he'll do when you get here. My answer has always been "He'll be fine...he has no choice." We're going to proceed cautiously, but if you get a lick in your face when you come home, that's just your big brother saying hello and seeing what you've been up to. We're pretty sure that he already knows you're there, based on how protective of me he's been lately. You've probably been hearing his voice during these last few months. He runs a tight ship in the backyard and if he's not walked every night, he usually barks his head off around 9pm every night, while we're relaxing and watching TV. Hopefully, you're used to this sound because we have no idea how to make him quit. So far, I haven't felt you startle when you hear him, so maybe that's a good sign.

Here's hoping for a baby who sleeps through crazy barking fits!

Love,

Momma

Chased by a turd

A typical evening walk with Nick, Chino and I was ruined by the perfect storm of distractions and a stuck turd.

Setting: Suburbia, USA, around dusk. Manicured lawns, sidewalks, children playing, yard work in process.

Nick and I are walking along, having an in-depth discussion about any number of seemingly insignificant situations, when suddenly, Chino decides that he has to poop. As usual, I'm holding the leash and Nick is holding the poop bags (because we are responsible dog owners) and like a well rehearsed scene from a play, we assume our positions while Chino assumes his.

As he's mid-dump, we see kids coming down the street. Since Chino doesn't always understand the concept of anyone under 5'0" tall, we knew that we'd have to shorten his leash a bit, to avoid an awkward situation wherein Chino jumps on and scares a neighborhood child. Instinctively, I wrap his leash around my hand, for added leverage, all the while hoping that he'll just focus on the task at hand and ignore the bicycle riding children. 

At the point that we are passed by the child, Nick has the leash and I'm reaching for the treats to try to use bribery to elicit good behavior distract him (Chino, not Nick) Chino lunges to jump on the kid (bad dog) and at the exact same moment realizes that he's got a hanger, if you will. So, mid-leap, he's pulled back by Nick's cat-like reflexes and then twists around to see what in the hell is hanging out of his ass. He realizes its a turd and begins proceedings to remove the offending turd from his ass and deposit it in the grass, where it belongs. As this is happening, he backs himself into me, while Nick joins the chase and tries to pluck the turd from his ass, bag on hand, of course.

Somehow, some way, Nick is able to detach the turd and I escape the whole ordeal unharmed. I did however start a laughing fit, the deep breath, tears streaming down my face, sounds like I'm crying, laughing fit. I hope that the picture I just painted for you will be the kindling for your own.

Moral of the story:  Don't eat hair

Happiness...

...can be as simple ripping into a ball of tissue paper. 

One of my favorites of my favorite

Captured with an old school flip phone. Without *gasp* internet access.  How DID we survive?

Underbite

See that little hint of an underbite?  According to his vet, it confirms the DNA "diagnosis" that this giant, shedding, water-loving mutt is part Chihuahua.  Who knew?

I am the Furminator

I don't know what it is about the Furminator, but it makes me happy (Chino, not so much).  Maybe its because I'm a results oriented person?  Or maybe I'm just lazy and would rather deal with dog hair, straight from the source, rather than having it blowing all over the floor like yellow, fuzzy tumbleweeds.  Either way, this is truly the best dog brush on the market if you have a shedding pup.  I hear that the cat version is pretty good too, but I can't speak to that.  I wanted to recreate the Furminator ad and have Chino laying here patiently, with his fur piles all around him, but that would have taken too many treats and then I'd be dealing with diarrhea on the floor instead of tumbleweeds.

To get Chino to participate in his Furmination, requires lots of patience and treats and sometimes assistance from Nick.  However, we both know that Chino is totally playing us.  How do I know?  I tried the Furminator on my on head and it didn't hurt, which is proof that Chino is really being a drama queen.  The disclaimer under this photo should read:  No mutts were harmed during this Furmination session. The mutt pictured consumed a ridiculous amount of T-Bonz treats in exchange for his cooperation.  If you or anyone you know is a victim of a psycho dog mom, please remember to act annoyed and she'll give you extra food.

Eight Fun Facts

1. If after your dog consumes a goose turd you see a tooth in his mouth that LOOKS rotten, its probably not.  Its probably just left over goose poop.  Think chocolate, but not.
2. Its easier to catch a dog with a dog.  Chino has been used as "bait" multiple times and boasts a 100% recovery rate.
3. If you light a tick on fire, it blows up.  Ok maybe blowing up is a TAD dramatic, but it definitely pops.  Like one of those white popper things that well...pops.
4. Ticks are gross.
5. Nick likes lighting things on fire - especially ticks.  See #3.
6. I think that Chino enjoys being inspected for ticks.  He'd deny it.
7. I'm the queen of bug inspection.  I point, Nick picks and then ignites.
8. Yesterday, Nick found a tick on my shirt.  I freaked out.

My Sweet Pumpkin

On May 9th, my sweet boy (aka Cujo) turned 5.  In typical "us" fashion, we celebrated with a whoopie pie, dog friendly of course, and a new toy, because if you can't celebrate a dog's birthday, what can you celebrate?

He enjoyed his cake thoroughly, licking ALL of the icing off first and then deciding to sample the cookie/cake part.  We were fully prepared for an "incident" all over the carpet when we got home the next day, but as a display of his new-found five year-old maturity, he refrained.  We're so proud.

Screaming

He's obviously inconvenienced by the fact that its was a Saturday, which meant that he had to share the couch with me on a rainy afternoon.  The entire process of this yawn was long enough for me to grab my phone, click the camera button and snap, while still catching him with his mouth open and tongue curled.  His flair for the dramatic never ceases to amaze me.

A (week)day off with Chino

While I was home on Monday, I got to observe the canine decision process.  The big winner in the couch versus love seat debate?  Love seat.  He did not, however, love the fact that I wanted to sit there with him.

Cousins

Nick's brother came up to our house today for some homework help and brought his puppy, Dash.  Chino and Dash had a fun afternoon, chasing each other around the couch and wrestling.  Dash also got a taste of Chino's famous toy box, the result of a psycho dog mom, plus a "grammy, grampie and aunt" who love him to pieces.  Of course, of the more than 10 bones laying around the house and piled in the toybox, they just so happened to want the same one; "the one" being whichever the other had at any particular moment.

Where's Waldo?

Logging in to Chino's playcam, made all of my dreams come true.  When you locate him in this photo, you'll see why.

A Moment

This wasn't the reason that I brought the camera outside.  Its the reason I'm so happy that I did.

Deck the dog....

With yards of garland...fa la la la la, la la, la la!

Squeezing Chino, a pictorial

Typical Saturday morning...me, in my PJ's, no make-up and slightly greasy hair and Chino laying on the floor,  minding his own business.  So I get up from the chair and go over to him, with my arms held out and ask him, "Chino...do you need squeezed by me?"  This is a rhetorical question, since of course, the answer is yes (at least in the happy world that I live in). 

Chino:  "Oh crap, she didn't pick up the vibe that I was just fine on the floor without her in my face, maybe if I choose not to look at her, she'll just go away.  I kind of like the cuddles, but I can't let HER know this."
Me:  "Nick, take our picture."

Chino:  "Seriously, she's still smiling like an idiot.  I'm going to look away and try to strangle myself on her arm so that she'll let go and leave me alone."
Me:  "Nick, is he looking?  He must like it since he's not trying to squirm away."

Me:  "Cheenie Beenie...give Momma some kisses"
Chino:  "Fine.  If I pretend to be interested in this cuddle business, will you go away?"

Chino:  "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em"

Me:  "I'm pretty sure that his whole aloof attitude was all a charade.  Nick - did you get the pictures?"

Have seatbelt, will travel

I have no idea how he allows us to put a harness on him and strap him in the backseat of the car, but he does.  We didn't implement the seat belt rule until we bought a convertible and I read up on the physics  behind a dog who isn't belted into the car.  Regardless, he tolerates it well.  What he doesn't tolerate are 18 wheelers that pass our car and interrupt his car naps.