A few crazy wife stories...

(Names have been changed to protect the unstable)

My husband sometimes sends me an email that contains a story or stories about some of his friends in cube village.  My interpretation of these stories is that its his way of telling me that he knows I'm crazy, but it could definitely be lots worse.  Incase he ever needs reminded of what that "next level" means, I wanted to post it here, so its nice and handy.

Story #1-from “Joe” the 22 year old married with child wonder.

His wife wanted BW's for dinner, so he goes to BW's to order and they told him it'd be a 20 minute wait.  He was like "Ok, no big deal, I'll just go have a beer."  Supposedly, his wife thinks he's this raging alcoholic.  He seems like the kind of guy who likes to have fun, but doesn't come across as a huge beer drinker or anything like that.  So, he decides she wouldn't care too much so he just put the beer on his food tab and goes about his business.  Unfortunately, the receipt was put in the bag unbeknownst (sp?) to him.  So he gets home and his wife, Sally, is excited for her BW's so she gets everything out and also notices the receipt.  After seeing the charge for the beer on the receipt, she flips out.  By flipping out I mean she goes to the fridge and dumps out all of the beer he had in the fridge all while ranting about how she's going to take the baby and go live with her mom.  THE END

 

Story #2

Allow me to re-create the phone commentary from Stephanie's end:

John: Hello?

Mary:  Hey, I'm headed back home but am not sure what exit to get off on (she's on 270 - keep in mind they live in Chillicothe)

John:  Where are you at?

Mary:  I see a hotels on the right and High St./Rt. 23 coming up.

John:  OK, 315 will be coming up.  Get on 315 south and just keep heading straight - it will turn into 71.  You'll know where you're at then.

Mary: OK.

..........30 minutes..........

John: Hello?

Mary: Where do I need to exit again?

John: Wait, you didn't see 315?

Mary: No

John: Ok, so where are you?

Mary: I see Rt. 3/Westerville

John: Are you fucking kididng me?  You've taken a lap around 270?

Mary: (Some gibberish I guess)

John: Oh my god - do you even have enough gas to get home now!?

Steph: ????

Mary: (gives directions, don't hear anything back...I assume she figured it out or called someone else)

THE END

 

Story #3

This story is about Bob, the guy who sits right next to John.  Bob was just out on company business for 2 weeks in Texas.  Bob had recently watched some show about how germy/dirty (same thing I guess) hotel rooms can be.  So, Bob checks into the hotel and immediately lifts up the comforter and blanket to look at the sheets.  Much to his dismay, he notices a couple brown spots on the sheets.  What does Bob decide to do....call housekeeping??.....NOOOO.  Go to the front desk??.....NOOOO.  Go to the local Wal-Mart and buy new sheets for the bed??.....YES - YOU GOT IT!   THE END.....no, this is not a joke either - this actually happened!!

BONUS SIDE STORY TO STORY #3 - Bob does not have a credit card and prides himself on his independency from credit cards.  Well, the way travel works at River is that the travel agent has your card number and uses it to book rooms, cars, airfare, etc.  Well, the company booked his hotel room with their card however the final charges to to the number that the agent has.  So, Bob now has an overdrafted checking acct. by like $150 because of this.  So I ask "how did they get your number if you didn't want them to use it?"  "I rented a car a while back and had to give them my card." - There you have it.  THE END!!