5 miles. Done and done.

Saturday's run was a long one, the longest that I've had to do in awhile.  As usual, I didn't WANT to do it, but I did, but I didn't, but I did (or else I wouldn't have signed up for the 1/4 marathon in the first place).  I carefully planned how the day would go, in the back of my mind, giving myself permission to skip it, but also threatening to kick my own ass if I did.  My relationship with myself is complicated.  In the end, I got it done and here's why:

1. I gave myself permission to walk.  Did I want to walk?  No.  But did I decide that it was ok if I did? Yes.  And I did end up walking on/off for the last 1 1/2 miles or so.  I'm happy to report that the side stitch stayed away and that I just started to tire out and dehydrate a bit.  All in all, I'm happy with how it went though.  I ran for almost 3 1/2 miles, not fast, but not walking.
2. My husband told me to enjoy it.  What a revelation.  This builds upon the whole idea of "this was my big idea" and takes it to another level.  Go out there and have fun.  That's what I did.  I enjoyed my neighborhood, the sunshine and the little boy who so graciously moved his tricycle off of the sidewalk for me to pass by.
3. I said that I was going to run.  I cancelled a pre-concert lunch date with friends so that I had time to get 5 miles in.  How dumb would I have felt if I would have gotten to the concert and said "I didn't do it" when asked how my five miles was?  Pretty dumb.  So instead of humiliation, I got a couple of high fives.
4. Sunday was a rest day.  All that was standing between me and more than 24 hours without thinking about running was 5 little miles.  Those five little miles would give my metabolism the boost that it needed to let me have fun at a tailgate, without completely throwing my progress down the drain.
5. 13.  Why is this important?  Its the number of miles that I was supposed to finish last week, and that 5 miles was the last chunk of mileage.  It also let me have my first continual highlighted line across my training plan, with no X's to mark out missed miles.

3 miles of therapy

Thursday's scheduled run turned into a walk, which turned into a 3-4 mile therapy session.  Over the years (does that make us sound old?), we have found that walking does the trick when it comes to difficult decisions or sticky situations.  We've broken up and gotten back together on a walk (that one was a doozie), we decided that we'd get a puppy and we've decided that we wanted to buy, and then build a house.  Obviously, these are pretty big decisions, but we've also worked on some other issues and "kinks", if you will.  For some reason, we're so much better at figuring things out while we walk and Thursday was no different.

We started out in our neighborhood, mutt in tow.  The conversation flowed and before we knew it, we were almost at the end of our normal route.  Since we weren't done talking yet, we crossed the street and added more miles and time, which did the trick.  The combination of walking and talking felt more exhausting than if we had just run the scheduled run, but in such a liberating way.

The details of what we talked about really aren't important (well, to anyone else but us).  What's important is that we know what to do when the going gets tough; we get going, talk it out and don't come home until its done, decided or resolved.

3 miles, heavy legs

On Tuesday, I completed three miles.  I didn't run the whole thing, but I didn't walk the whole thing either, so I'll consider it a win or a +, if you will.  Monday evening, I did two miles, followed by a complete ass kicking by my trainer, Rebecca.  The workout was so intense that about halfway through, I started to dread Tuesday, thinking that I probably wouldn't be able to sit down on the toilet without extreme pain.  When Tuesday morning rolled around, I was kind of proud of myself when I got out of bed, made my way to the bathroom and then sat down, without any grunting or pain.  The day continued and my legs continued to work...until I had to go run that night.  Once I started going, it felt like my legs were weighted down.  It just wasn't happening.  But, I went anyway and at the end, I had "wogged" three more miles.  While I was going, I was thinking about:

1. I hope that I don't get struck by lightening.  There were some pretty gnarly clouds rolling in and a few times, I saw sideways lightening.  I thought to myself - "seriously!? you're not this hard core" but then I told myself to "shut up and finish".
2. Even though you're not feeling "it" tonight, just get through it.  That's what I did.  It wasn't pretty, but it was done.  My heart rate was up and I was sweating, so even though I didn't satisfy my mind and do three miles without walking, I gave my body what it needed.
3. In the overall scheme of your day, this is a blip.  I had to tell myself multiple times that this "wog" only felt like it was going on FOREVER, when in fact it was less than 45 minutes of my day, a blip on the radar, if you will.

Moral of the story:  For me, any run is better than no run.  I'll get to where I want to go eventually - even if I have to walk part of the way.

2 Miles

Dear side stitch,

I'm dedicating this post to you, since you obviously are craving attention.  During last night's run, I was thinking about how good I was feeling despite the humidity and my lack of motivation.  I know that's a contradiction, but its my prerogative.  My breathing was steady, my music was motivating and traffic was cooperating.  I was cruising along at a less than 13'00" pace yet again.  However, you decided mess with my mind around mile 1.25 or so.   Instead of giving in to your cries for attention, I took deep breaths and willed you to go away.  I was glad that you took the hint because I was in no mood to run/walk last night, after your appearance on Friday evening.  Now that I've remembered how to make you go away, I want you to know that you are no longer welcome to join me on my runs.  I don't have time to entertain you and you really screw up my breathing.  So if you DO try to pop in on my three miles tonight, I'm going to take deep breaths until you get the hint and go back to wherever you came from.  

Peace out,

Me

4 miles. It wasn't pretty, but I got it done.

Friday after work, I headed out to do four miles.  Because of a trip to Pittsburgh, we decided to do the four instead of the scheduled 2.  Instead of doing the two, we opted for two much needed rest days.  While I was running, I was giving some thoughts to why I was doing this and how it was making me feel.  So here it goes:

1. I had to walk, and that was ok.  The day was warm and humid, and I knew that I was tired, but I headed out anyway to get this 4 miles crossed off of my list.  I started out and immediately noticed that my shoulders and biceps were tensed.  I tried to check myself and rotate my hands to loosen things up, but wasn't having any luck.  I'm pretty sure that this contributed to the dreaded side stitch, which almost always is my undoing.  I ran with it for awhile, telling it to go away, but it wouldn't listen, so I decided to walk for a bit, until it dissipated on its own.  At first, I felt guilty because I hadn't made it to 2 miles before I stopped to walk, but then I remembered my own post and decided that I was going to have fun, damn it, and running with a pain in my side wasn't fun.  I proceeded to "wog", which is a combination of run/walk, for the remainder of my miles.  To give myself some goals, I walked a song and ran a song.  My pace for the day, under at 14:00 minute mile overall, showed that when I was running, I was running faster than usual, which is a win for me.
2. I love sweat wicking fabric.  I admit it, I was skeptical about how much those $30 Nike shirts actually WICK when it comes to sweat, but after running in 80+ degree weather, I'm a skeptic no more.  The sweat started almost as soon as I got out of the car, and I never felt damp or sticky like I feel when I run with a t-shirt.
3. I remember when this used to be easer.  I admit it, for a few minutes (maybe more, I don't know), I allowed some self-pity to enter my mind.  I kicked myself for quitting after the last round of 1/2 marathon training and allowing myself to get back to square one.  Enough about that, moving on.
4. I never want to see my name next to a DNF, ever again.  I remembered that after the Cap City 1/2 last May, Nick and I registered for the Columbus 10k.  The thought process was that since we'd already been training for the 1/2, and finished 13.1 miles, we'd just take a week off from running and pick things back up again, keeping the momentum going for a SHORT 6.2 mile race.  What ended up happening was that we quit running altogether and began making excuses for why we weren't continuing with our training.  The result?  We got two technical t-shirts for a race that we didn't run and two DNF's next to our names in the official results.

Two miles, two MORE reasons

1. I ran because I wanted to break a bad habit.  Last night's plan was supposed to be:  leave work, quick trip to the store while Nick did his two miles, my two miles while dinner was cooking, dinner, TV and bed.  What ended up happening was that I got home late, around 7:30, which threw off the whole plan, which sometimes sends me into a downward spiral of excuses.  In my head, it was the perfect reason to postpone the inevitable until this morning.  Knowing myself as I do, I also knew that I wouldn't wake up to get the run done and would begin a 24 hour cycle of self-hatred, which was really completely unnecessary.  So instead of justifying, I got dressed and got it done.
2. I ran because I said that I was going to.  I keep my training schedule tacked up in my cube.  I highlight the dates and the miles as I go.  This serves as 9-5 "public record" of my progress.  My boss knows that I'm running and I mentioned to him last night that I had to run when I got home.  I would have felt like the world's biggest idiot had I come in today and not been able to highlight that two miles.  Putting an X through it would have meant that I was going to be two miles short this week and that the yellow highlighted line through my week would have been broken.  The fact that this is something that would bother me is proof that I'm getting back into the training groove.

Last night's stats

Distance:  2 miles

Avg. pace:  12'39"/mile

Total time:  25:24

Calories:  276

Two more miles, two more reasons

There were two more miles on last night's schedule and instead of focusing on why I didn't want to change into my running clothes and get out there (which can be attributed to laziness by the way), I once again tried to focus on two more reasons why I wanted to run.  Here they are.

1. I ran because I had no real reason not to.  Because, really, "I don't want to" isn't a good excuse when it comes to training.  Of course I want to, or I wouldn't have signed up to do the race in the first place.
2. I ran for how good it makes me feel...especially when I'm done.  During my run, I was fighting the urge to give in to a side stitch, but didn't, because I knew that I would hate myself if I succumbed to the urge to stop and walk.  When I finished, and I felt the sweat pouring down my face, arms and hands (yes, hands!), I knew I gave it everything I could for those two short miles.  There was no second guessing because there was no stopping.

These two miles were two more miles that I put between myself and my tendency to self sabotage and second guess.  For me, running is still as much a mental sport as it is a physical sport, but I think that this latest endeavor finally has me on the right track.

Stats:
Distance:  2 miles
Avg. Pace:  12'53"/mile
Total time:  25:48
Calories:  276